Thursday, May 27, 2010

SportsCenter's World Cup Commericials

More commercials to prepare you for the World Cup. Can you tell I'm a little pumped?




Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Teen Werewolves

In San Antonio, comes another stupid news story about how these non goth kids dress like goths, but don't call themselves goths. They call each other werewolves because they want to express themselves with their stupid wolf tails. They are denying they want attention by dressing different and looking like clowns. Their alpha dog leader's name is "Wolfie Blackhart."

World Cup Preview Featuring Wayne Rooney



Rooney is one of my favorite soccer players. Just a typical Englishman with pasty white skin, kind of gingerish and can flat out score. He's also kind of an asshole and likes his pints of beer. He's definitely one to keep your eye one as he leads the hope of a whole nation.





Not a bad WAG either, Wayne.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The End of a Bad-Ass, 24 Comes to a Close



One of my favorite shows is coming to a close. Kiefer Sutherland's role as Counter Terrorist Agent/American Hero/Bad-Ass Jack Bauer is coming to an epic end. The 8 year series comes to a close tonight and I will always remember it as an addicting, adrenaline rush, filled with twists, general outrageousness, with a side of unintentional comedy and some overall really intense moments.

Sure some story lines were simply awful, like Kim Bauer getting kidnapped 2348032 times or getting chased by the mountain lion or some random story that you think is there to just to kill some time, but this show was still addicting and was the perfect action thriller post 9/11. I discovered 24 sophomore year in college when season 4 premiered. I watched the season premiere, then immediately went to amazon and bought the first 3 seasons. This show was perfect for college. I would stay up until 2 AM, telling myself "ok last episode" but then find myself throwing in the next disk. I easily got other people addicted to it and it made our Monday nights entertaining. In college, you would make up games just to drink and this was another example. We would watch 24 and play the 24 drinking game. (Damn it! drink!) And remember, at it's peak, I say Season 4 or 5, it was a must watch, it won an Emmy for Best Drama, Kiefer won best actor and Jon Cassar did win Best Director.

24 was an easy, entertaining show that would leave me bitter because I had to wait the full week to watch the next hour. The cast always had some nice talent (see Cuthbert, Elisha or Wershing, Annie) and guest appearances (see Voight, John or Jin from LOST) that would have you saying "hey it's that guy from _______." I will definitely miss 24 and hope that the rumors of a movie spin-off are true because lets face it, Kiefer Sutherland can't find another movie or TV gig anymore. Him and Jack Bauer will be linked for life, and I think that's more of a compliment for how great he was on the show.

So tonight, grab a beer, or at least 6, and get ready to drink up. Jack is pissed and ready to make you drink.

Some quick 24 drinking rules.

Every time someone says "Damn It!"
Every time someone says "There's not enough time!"
Every time Jack kills someone.
Every time Jack does something badass.

Here are all of Jack's kills through 11:00 PM of this year. (Season ends at 4 PM.)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

LOST Finale Tonight

LOST's finale is tonight. If you are behind, he's a quick 1 minute video of what you have missed.



or the LOST rap.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Nike Does it again.

3 min World Cup promo. Simply Awesome. June 11 can't get here fast enough.

The end of LOST

LOST is finally coming to an end. I was never really a huge fan of this show, but I know the story, I'm pot committed and I'm all in. I just want to see this end. I never really got the obsession. LOST became that show that everyone who was obsessed with it, would annoy you by trying to figure out the mysterious plot with with their theories or the writers would write something so asinine, fanatics would convince themselves, "Yeah, Lost was crazy last night, but I could totally see that happening" when in reality, the writers could write ANYTHING and fans of the show would approve. I did hear in a podcast the writers wrote season 1 with an end plan but didn't know how long LOST would go, so they added some filler until they found out the show would last 6 seasons. Whatever. I'm just here for the entertainment. And Evangeline Lilly. I just wonder what happens to these actors after LOST. They will be ultimately typecasted and won't be able to be looked at the same again. This happened with actors from the Wire (Michael in 90210, awful), Saved by the Bell (they all failed, for the most part) and I guess Sopranos (if you check out any Gandolfini movie).

Anyways, one fanatic created a trailer for the series finale for sunday and it's pretty good. It took him 32 hours to make. 32. Doesn't he have a job or something? Like me. I have a job. And lots of down time. Thus this blog was born. Either way, the trailer is actually pretty good, as LOST comes down to a close.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

HOPE



As you can tell from my new picture up top, I'm very excited about the upcoming John Wall pick. Strasburg, Ovechkin, McNabb and Wall usher in 2010-2011. Here are some Wall photo shops I've come across. Yes I'm giddy.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Two Words: John Wall


Well, the Wizards finally had some good karma come their way. Finally, for the 2nd time in their history, they won the NBA Draft Lottery. Yeah yeah I know, Kwame Brown was a bust. But that year, there wasn't really a consensus #1. This year, Wall and then Turner and then the rest. The Wizards were a joke and an embarrassment this year. Started out with promise with "the Big 3" all healthy. After a few impressive early wins, they went on a slide followed by the death of Abe, the infamous game of bourre that led to Gilby and Crittenton drawing guns on each other, suspending them both, Gilby with jail time and eventually dismantling the squad. Caron gone. Jamison gone. Deshawn/Haywood/McGuire gone. No more straw chewing. No more awkward layups. No more hand-waving in front of face.

But alas, finally some good karma. The whole point of conducting a team is to win a championship, not a first round series. And they blew it up. Today with the draft lottery win, it's a start. Now assuming new owner Ted Leonsis isn't an idiot (he's not because he patiently built the Caps from the beginning and removed these joke of what they call banners), Ted will have Ernie take John Wall. A PG for the next 5 years at least.

Now if Miss Cleo is correct, your new starting five will be Wall, Arenas, Lebron, Blatche, McGee. But of course psychics are f'ing dumb.

So Wall, Arenas, Josh Howard, Blatche, Mcgee, with Nick Young and others off the bench. The team was completely gutted, but Wall is definitely a start. We're still a long long long way away until they are even close to competing (Come home Kevin Durant!) but at least there's some sort of hope at the end of this dark tunnel.

Great things happen in 3's. DC's last 3 #1 overall picks: Ovechkin, Strasburg and now Wall. Let's hope the last two are just as awesome as Ovie.

Now get your John Wall dance on.





Wall at High School



Wall at Kentucky




Update: Wizards milking that lotto win already.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Movie Review for Kick-Ass




I finally saw Kick-Ass on Sunday and I was thoroughly entertained. From beginning to end, it was not like your typical Super Hero movie. More Profane. More Entertaining. More Violent. Slo-Mo action scenes. Comic Relief. Attractive female girlfriend. Kick-Ass was original, well rounded and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I guess there's something badass about watching some 11 year old girl going on a Kill Bill-esque killing spree. Every time they zoomed into her little beadie eyes, I was expecting to hear those Kill Bill sirens to start blaring.

A quick synopsis of Kick-Ass is about this dorky comic book nerd wants to become a super hero (named Kick-Ass), but he well, sucks and gets his ass kicked a lot. As the movie goes on, he gets saved from yet another beatdown by Hit Girl and Big Daddy (Nick Cage!). Hit Girl and Big Daddy both have secret vendettas against a crime kingpen that become more apparent as the movie goes on.

Kick-Ass was a little Taratino-esque, but I should of known I would enjoy this movie becasue it was directed by Matthew Vaughn. Vaughn directed Layer Cake, one of my personal favorites and also produced Snatch and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

I would definitely recommend seeing this movie. Just a fun movie all around, especially for a lazy Sunday afternoon.


The World is About to Get Messi'd

It was another lazy Sunday at the Castro. 3 out of 4 were hungover and one is a gimp so we all watched Barcelona vs. some other team that got relegated. Barcelona clinched another La Liga Championship with a 4-0 win and Lionel Messi scored twice. With the World Cup 25 days away, here's a little preview with all of Messi's 47 goals in La Liga this year. Something to look forward to this upcoming June.

Tyler Lewis...the next Steve Nash?

Well tonight is Game 1 of Suns-Lakers in the Western Conference Finals. So here's a vid of the next Steve Nash. This kid is a high school sophomore. White people playing basketball. Makes it look smooth.

New Bravo TV Show

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is the funniest show on tv. Fact. Not even a debate. Well the waitress from the show stars in Bravo's new reality show. Ok it's not real show but this would be awesome.

Friday, May 14, 2010

She's Enjoying Penis More is the new Boom Goes the Dynamite

According to the description, this was after a news report about a procedure to enhance the G-Spot. It cost $1200 per procedure and lasts 4-6 months. This was the response of the newscaster. Just watch and listen.

Delonte West Banged Lebron's Mom


Well, maybe it wasn't Lebron's elbow or the lack of effort that had Lebron struggle. Or maybe it wasn't Lebron's medication making him tired. Maybe the cause of Lebron's struggle is his teammate, Delonte West. According to numerous blogs, this letter says Lebron found out Delonte was banging Gloria James, Lebron's mom. Oh man this is awesome.


”My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years. He’s good friends with a lot of guys at the Q, including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Dan Gilbert personally.My uncle has been told that Delonte has been banging Gloria James (Lebron’s Mom) for some time now. Somehow Lebron found out before game four and it destroyed their chemistry and divided the team. I am not making this up, I wish it wasn’t true but it happened. .”


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Way I Are (Portguese Remix) featuring Rodrigo Ferraz

Sixth Grader Covers Papa...Paparazzi

Piano Skills. Check. Pre-pubescent voice. Check. Justin Bieber hair. Check.

Not bad kid. That blond in the back is definitely vibing. Hurry and record something before your voice deepens and it's too late.



Thanks American Tourist for Making Us Look More Stupid By the Minute

Hey clown, that's a urinal.

Mauer's Knee


So a couple weeks ago, Mauer blew out his knee playing basketball. Ruptured his patella to be more specific. He's in good spirits though, but I think it's the painkillers doing their work. He just had surgery back on April 29th and his knee is slowly getting better. He got 8 weeks of crutches and 6 months of rehab, but soon enough he'll be better then new.

Yes those are staples.


On the left is his knee right after surgery and on the right is 3 or 4 days after surgery.


Mauer shaves his legs! How metrosexual of him.

World Cup Exactly One Month Away

The world's biggest sporting event is back in a month and I'm excited. The enthusiasm of the players, countries and fans, the talent of the players and the talent of the ladies. Just awesome. It also takes away that summer lull in sports before futbol americano starts. I can only handle baseball for so long (call me when it's September, MLB). Anyways here's a quick preview with the top 100 footballer's WAGs (wifes and girlfriends) and a couple vids of the top 50 best world cup goals ever and the best goals in 2006 in Germany. Enjoy the beautiful game. Joga Bonito!

Top 100 WAGs





Monday, May 10, 2010

Movie Review of the Human Centipede



Well, I don't know where to start. Web and I went to the midnight show on Friday since we didn't feel like having a hangover or spending a bunch on an unnecessary bar tab. We got there around 11:30 and there was already a huge line to get into the theater. There were lots of weirdos and deranged people in DC someone said. I'd have to agree. (I give out plot here, if you really care, you shouldn't, but if you really do, SPOILER ALERT)

The movie is cheesy, poorly written and has bad acting. A quick synopsis. Deranged German doctor. American Female Tourist's car breaks down in random German woods becasue they get lost. They find German's house. Doctor drugs them. Doctor sews them, mouth to anus, with a another random Japanese guy. Doctor tortures them. Police find out. Everyone dies.

The two American girl actresses, I'm guessing, are just trying to break into Hollywood. I don't know why else they would take this role. There's not many lines for them because they are really just moaning and yelling and crying.

In my opinion, this was one of the most absurd movies I've ever seen. I was laughing at the absurdity and unintentional comedy, grossed out by the shock value and pretty much speechless at the end. I can't recommend to go see it but I can. Like I said, I don't know what to think. I don't know, if you're bored, sure why not. Throughout the movie, there was clapping, yelling, and singing from the audience. I have also seen reviews where some people were throwing up in the theater. When I left the movie at the end, I noticed there were one or two girls already outside, and it looked like they have been there for a while because they were leaning against the wall, disgusted, waiting for their friends. There was random talk from audience members about how someone came up with this idea and who the hell would green light it. Well apparently it has to be the IFC, who also has green lighted the sequal. Oh those crazy Germans. Here's the trailer again.




UPDATE: DCist with a blog review and interview of people that went to the same midnight show.

Annual Maxim Hot 100 List

I remember when Maxim used to be relevant. Or was that the SI swimsuit? Either way, they have both pretty much jumped the shark. But like any sucker, I'm a fan of lists so here's Maxim's Top 100 and my humble opinion.

Overrated or Rated too high:

  • Katy Perry (#1, not quite. I can see top 100 but #1, come on now.)
  • Christina Aguilera (This ain't 2002)
  • Hilary Duff (used to think hot, but hmay ruined her for me with her fat arms)
  • Danica Patrick (can accept her on top 100, I guess, but not top 25)
  • J Love Hewitt (meh in the past, meh right now)
  • Anna Faris at 42, not feeling it
  • Stephanie Pratt (Really?)
  • Britney (how the mighty have fallen)
  • Ke$ha (haha. i'm guessing Gaga just missed the list at 101)
  • Rebecca Mader (wrong Lost girl, Maxim)
Should be ranked higher or Underrated:
  • Alison Brie. (She likes to try to convert her gay friends straight, come on!)
  • Keeley Hazell (I like English chicks)
  • Annalynne McCord (you watch any show/movie where they are favorable, this will impact your opinion...see her in Nip/tuck)
  • Mila Kunis (same thing with Forgetting Sarah Marshall, or any other movie she's in for that matter)
  • Alessandra Ambriosio (yeah VS model. should be higher)
  • Olivia Wilde should be higher (splitting hairs when you go into top 10 really)
Notables that should be on the list:
  • Evangeline Lilly (the right Lost girl)
  • Christina Hendricks (maxim with a F you to Esquire's #1)
  • Amanda Seyfried (figured with all her lame movies, she'd be on the list)
  • Diora Baird (seems like she's always on these lists but no one knows her)
  • Isla Fisher (British, funny, semi-ginger)
  • Sienna Miller (personal fave)
  • Lohan (how the mighty have fallen, indeed)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

More Movie Cliches: Mirrors

Mirrors are scary.

Get Out of There!

No words necessary.

The Real Life Birdemic

West Palm Beach. Where birds attack. This news story is ridiculous. Yes it's another one of those awesomely bad news stories, complete with hilarious reenactments and composite sketches my 5 year old cousin could do. I'm just glad to see the leprechaun artist is still finding work. We're in a recession people. Got to pay those bills somehow.



Bonus videos of the hilarious bears reenactment story and of course, the leprechaun:



Wednesday, May 5, 2010

A Special Cinco de Mayo Message...to Arizona

Yes yes, today is Cinco de Mayo. Have yourself a few cervezas won't you. With Los Suns playing tonight, that dumb Arizona law getting passed and today a Mexican holiday, why don't you celebrate by checking out the trailer to Machete.

Originally a fake trailer for Grindhouse, Robert Rodriguez gave this movie some wheels. Check out the cast. Danny Trejo (badass), Bobby DeNiro (really?), Michelle Rodriguez (overrated, loves to booze, meh), Jessica Alba (nice), 80's has beens Don Johnson and Cheech Marin, Jeff Fahey (Lapidus!), Stephen Segal (a father favorite) and Lindsay Lohan! (who said her career is dead).



Uh oh Arizona, "you just fucked with the wrong Mexican."

UPDATE: Cinco de Mayo, more like Cinco deNiro!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

For the ladies...Kobe vs. Ronaldo, Who you got? No homo



Since this was on PTI, I can ask, who you got? Kobe's all white vs. Ronaldo's Vanity Fair.

More of Kobe's Bedouin act here.

I Present to You, On The Rocks

Here is some a'cappella group of the University of Oregon singing Bad Romance. Not going to lie, they can sing. All I want to know is how does Andy Bernard and his group, Here Comes Treble (see what they did there), respond?



If you click the youtube link, there are more songs by them.

Come on Andy! You're not going to get punked out by some hippy Pac-10 school, right?
This is Cornell we're talking about. BIG RED! Your move Nard dog.

Big Ben is on the New Sports Illistrated



Oh man, here comes the SI Jinx. What could go worse with Big Ben? Suspended 6 games. Reputation Tarnished. Old teammates sandbagging him. What else could happen, Eminem dissing him on a single? Oh wait, that happened?

"I'd rather turn this club into a bar room brawl/Get as rowdy as Roethlisberger in a bathroom stall," Eminem raps.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Kanye on The Cleveland Show

The long awaited Kanye West appearance on the Cleveland show. "Meh"

Introducing the Better Marriage Blanket

Well this is a new one. This blanket is supposed to "completely and quickly absorb" farts with the same odor-absorbing fabric that the military uses. "Originally developed for use against chemical weapons." Count me as sold!

Come on, really? Why is it that the male is the one that farts? Chicks fart too. But when they fart, it smells like flowers, obviously. Flowers leads to pollen. Pollen leads to congestion, itchy eyes and sneezes. Sneezes wake me up. Consider me a new customer.

The Simpsons Ke$ha Inspired Intro

Yeah I know, the Simpsons haven't been relevant since the mid 90's but they're still pumping out the episodes. Last night, they made a new intro reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-mix, using Ke$ha's Tik Tok. Not going to lie, I enjoyed this. Welcome to 2010 Simpsons. It reminded me of going out the night before and bobbing my head to anything the bar played. Well done.