"George", the Movie

No words to describe this, just watch it in awe.

Tiger Banged 120 uh 121 Chicks, Misses Cut

Tiger missed the cut at Quail Hollow this weekend, only the 6th time in his career he's missed the cut. He shot a 74 and a 79 (+9) but I think he was distracted. Apparently Tiger admitted to Elin in sex rehab that he cheated on her with 120 chicks. But apparently, number 121 was Elin's deal breaker. Why? Because it was the neighbor.

“I can’t believe you had sex with that girl in our own neighborhood. That’s it … I’m divorcing you.”

The Enquirer’s tipster told the tab “she was screaming so loudly that everyone at the table could hear what she was saying.”

“Tiger tried to deny it,” the source said. “But Elin yelled at him, ‘You’re lying! You’re always a liar! You’re a piece of (expletive).”

-NY Daily News

Sasquash Says Bango is a Poser and a Hack

DC Sports in 365 Days

No words to describe the disappointment of last night. This video summarizes it best.

Game 7

In basketball, baseball and hockey, there's nothing like a Game 7. That's why I caved and am going tonight to the Caps game. It's nerve racking with anxiety and excitement.

I'm just hoping something like this happens today like it did one year ago exactly.

Probably the Most Rediculous Mascot Stunt I've Ever Seen

Here's Bucks Mascot, Bango, doing a back flip off the top of a ladder, dunking the ball mid process. Ridiculous.




Guess this worked out better then his last one.

More Awesomely Bad Movies Coming Soon

The Human Centipede



Birdemic: Shock and Terror

The Room

Last Saturday, I went with a bunch of friends to E St Cinema to go see "The Room". It's a movie so bad that it has now developed a huge cult following like the Rocky Horror Picture Show but way worse. I remember reading about it in this EW article a while back and a few friends had recommend checking it out at E Street Cinema. They described it as a scene, unlike any movie you've been to. They were right. Described as the "Citizen Kane of bad movies" it is so awesomely bad, it's a must see. The lead is also shockingly the producer and director of this cinema bomb masterpiece. The female lead is supposedly a new actress trying to make it into showbiz (oops).

Here are some highlights in bullet form:

• Yelling "Spoooooooon!!!!!" and throwing dozens and dozens of plastic spoons every time the random picture framed spoon picture was shown.
• Chanting "Go, go, go, go, etc" when they pan across the Golden Gate Bridge
  
• The random (mostly) witty comments from the peanut gallery throughout the movie
• The horrifically terrible love scenes
• The heavy accent of the lead (and director)
• The cheesy lines, out of focus picture and random who the f are you characters
• Denny the creepy kid and his football
  
• Drinking booze

There are plenty of other things that you need to go check out on your own. They have midnight showings across the US every once in a while. In DC, they have it at E Street once a month and definitely worth it. This morning I have re-watched the trailer and youtube clips of the Room and have had a shit eating grin my office all day. Definitely go see it.

Here's the official trailer of "The Room"










The Room Wiki (Contains SPOILERS. and you really shouldn't care)

The Room Official Site

Eric Belanger Proves Hockey Players are Bad Ass

Game 5 sucked. The Caps have to go back to Montreal, hopefully pissed of and ready to go to end it in 6. One penalty missed by the refs was Eric Belanger (rhymes with lingerie) getting his face smashed by a stick.

Here he is bloodied and bruised, removing his own tooth and then playing in his very next shift. Bad Ass.

Shatner and Chubby Asian Sing "Total Eclipse of My Heart:"

Those Pouncy Twins are Close

Would of updated this last night but I had to watch the Caps give Game 5 away in person.

That's why the NFL draft sucks this year. 1st round Thursday and 2nd/3rd on Friday?! Awful. The NFL Draft should be all day Saturday and Sunday. Definitely a PR move for the No-Fun-League. The NFL draft is known to be an all day, sit on your couch and chill and watch your team draft hopeful diamonds in the rough. Weekdays are suppose to be for the NBA/NHL Drafts.

Anyways, Bradford going first, Tebow going ahead of Clausen, whatever. The real highlight is one Maurkice twin kissing the other twin on the lips. I thought this was weird but I'm not a twin. Thoughts?

Beer Garden in DC? Beer Garden in DC!

Back in March, the Post had a sweet blog post about a new beer garden opening in the H st. corridor. Looking at pictures here, it looks pretty sweet.

Well Biergarten Haus is opening May 7th to the public and you can book parties there now.

According to the description, all German beers on tap served in giant German beer towers, and two dozen more in bottles selected by the same beer guy that did the all Belgian beers at Brasserie Beck.

Biergarten Haus also serves your typical German food and is open just in time for the world cup to be shown on multiple flat screen TVs.

The owners of Biergarten Haus also own Russian Capitals' favorite, Russia House.

Iphone vs. Blackberry

Well there's been an ongoing debate for years now, Iphone or Blackberry. Iphone does this, BB does that, etc etc etc...Well I'm going to go with Iphone, not because I have one, but because after some extensive scientific research...well, it's just better.

CultofMac reports that a Phones4U survey of 1,500 women found that 54% of them would be more likely to give their digits and date an iPhone owner than a non-iPhone owner and 37% said that owning an iPhone makes a man seem more reliable.

“There’s just something about a man who’s good with computers that makes him more trustworthy,” said Lucy, a 23-year-old primary school teacher from London, in the press release. “If he’s got the cash for an iPhone then he must be very good at his job, too.”

Boom! Well said Lucy from London.

Iphone. Science. Debate Finished.

Franck Ribery and His Underage Prostitute

French footballer Franck Ribery, 27 was recently discovered to have relationships with Zahia Dehar, a teenage prostitute in France. She was actually accused of sleeping with at least three French footballers by declaring she "loved them all." She said she has also been with French footballers Karim Benzema, 22, and Sidney Govou, 30, and they all treated her "with utter respect." I guess "utter respect" means getting paid up to 20,000 euro a month. Prostitution is legal in France but the age of consent is 18. Ribery faces a maximum of three years in prison and up to a 40 k euro fine.

Ribery and others deny that they didn't know she was underage even thought he Mirror News reports that Dehar celebrated her 18th birthday last February. She also had her clients fly her to destinations like Dubai, staying in five star hotels and word is she may have other ties to English clubs.

Ah mistresses and athletes, where have we seen this before? The funny thing here is that the French are more concerned about Ribery not being able to play in the World Cup then his actual morals. Ah, you got to love the culture of the beautiful game. Just win baby.

How the Mighty Have Fallen...Scott Storch

If you haven't heard the name, Scott Storch, I guaranteed you have at least danced or bobbed your head to one of his tracks. Scott Storch is/was a mulimillion dollar record producer. He's produced beats for some of the hottest hip hop and r&b artists in the game. Songs like Dr. Dre's "Still D.R.E." and Justin Timberlakes "Cry me a River"are a few of his productions. He was a kid from North Philly that grew up with a natural talent for music, eventually getting his start with The Roots, as their sick keyboardist. He's worked with everyone from Dr. Dre, Timbaland, 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Beyonce to "dating" Kim K, Paris and Lohan (everything comes in 3's right, even hollywood floozies). At his prime, he was making six figures per song produced.

But like any Roman tragedy, it came crashing down. A severe cocaine habit and a crazy spending habit that would rival Mike Tyson, he eventually declared bankruptcy and is pretty much a deadbeat.

The Miami New Times penned a great article on Scott Storch. It documents his rise, is spending habits, his growing cocaine habit, his delinquency with family, his nativity to about his friends, his downfall and his hopeful comeback into the music industry.

I personally think the guy is a douche (one of his alias is Storchavelli) but could produce some catchy tracks. I'm going to say he deserves what he gets, based on this article. Have a little self control Scotty. Hopefully he makes a comeback and pays off all his debts (so he can take care of his kids) because I'm pretty sure there will some more Storchavelli tracks that you and I will be bobbing our heads to in the near future.

Caron Butler is the Straw Guru

Caron Butler used to be one of my favorite players on the Wizards and I am hoping Dallas wins a title because of him. Most if not all athletes are quirky and Caron is no different. He's been chewing on straws since he was in high school. Dan Steinberg covered his chewing habits here while the NBA banned straw chewing back in February.

Caron's favorite straw is McDonalds. It's his favorite over Popeyes, Wendy's, 7-11, etc....

He's gone threw thousands of straws and to prove it, he was asked to pick out the Mcdonalds straw blindfolded out of 15 other straws. He is the straw guru.

Spring Time is Here Which Means Kickball Season

Well it's spring which means the start of recreational kickball, softball, flag football and outdoor basketball leagues are about to start. And sometimes you get the occasional assclowns that take it a little too serious and sometimes you get the people who just like to have a fun time.

Well according to the dailyrft.com, the south city park police in St. Louis has officially banned a league for it's inappropriate behavior.

This kickball league seems like a little too much thinking going on. Check out the these oh so witty team names. They even have team logos! (language)

Top Chef DC

Not sure if you know by now, but last month, it was confirmed that the next top chef would be in DC. Well they started filming now. I think this is pretty cool and it would be better if I got to sneak into one of their "restaurant wars" episodes. Especially if I got to eat good food and meet Padma and Gail Simmons. Well I'll leave Padma to Web and his Indian Girl Fetish.

From Wiki:

The show will bring 17 contestants, similar to prior seasons, but this time one of the contestants will be a Top Chef "veteran", who participated in one of the prior editions (and didn't win). It has been also reported that classic episodes such as Restaurant Wars and Wedding Wars will return. The Finale is planned to happen in Montreal, Canada. It will bring five chefs and will be comprised of three episodes (instead of two).

DC is an up and coming restaurant city but has plenty of catching up compared to NY and SF. But the fact that Top Chef is in DC gives us a promising future for more awesome restaurants.

Well if you want to stalk where they are, here's a google map of where they're staying and where they have been to so far. (Been there's everywhere!)

Also some other DC restaurant links to waste some more time.

Top 100 Restaurants

Upcoming Ray's Restuarants

Denzel's Movie Roles

You ever feel like Denzel gets typecasted a lot into the same role. Yeah, figured you did. Maybe this Denzel Washington Venn Diagram will explain everything.



[link via filmdrunk]

Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive...a Ginger?

Ok well maybe she's not a flat out ginger like a pre-cocaine Lohan, but she does have the red hair. Esquire recently interviewed and declared that Christina Hendricks from Mad Men is the new sexiest woman alive taking over for Megan Fox. I just can't believe she married this guy.



Yeah, the snozzberry guy. How does this happen? Yeah I don't know either. Maybe she's on shrooms too.

Ovechkin Sprays Kid

Habs fans are bitter because they are one game from getting eliminated from the playoffs. Their team is giving 100% but simply do not have the skill the Caps have. Watching these past two games, when Montreal gets down, they are showing their frustration by taking dumb penalties.

Now habs fans pretty much see the end and are now complaining about Ovechkin spraying some kid. Funny thing is they are grasping at straws because they completely respect him too. The kid is probably bragging to his friends that he was on the ice in the first place and the fact that he got snow sprayed by Ovie.

Game 5 on Friday.

Coachella Drunk vs. Flip Flop

Derek Jeter vs. Cristiano Ronaldo

There were recent rumors that Cristiano Ronaldo came into the US, took Kim K against her will, and brought her out to Spain. Ok I made up the unwillingly part, but Ronaldo should stick to Europe and not come over here and take our attractive women. Then I saw his resume. Very impressive. The only athlete I could think of that could compete with him (besides Big Ben) is Derek Jeter. I am a Yankee Hater, but his resume is quite impressive as well.


So Derek Jeter or Cristiano Ronaldo....who you got?

Quick Links to Articles

Big Ben Update: Yup still a dick.

Good read in the NY Mag about Rachel Uchitel and the overall business of the VIP experience. The fact that a host can make up to half a million a year is just crazy to me. That and someone leaving an extra $30 k on top of a tip. Must be nice.

Alex Ovechkin in the NY Times

It's NFL Draft time and that means more Mel Kiper Jr. Who is he and how did he get his start? Pretty interesting.

Sometimes an Upset Stomach is the Best Excuse

I got a friend. While in high school, this friend didn't want to work at his part time job. He's had excuse after excuse. So not wanting to be bothered, he had his mother call his job and say, "_____ can't make it into work today, he has explosive diarrhea."

What made me laugh was the fact that his mom used the term diarrhea and described how bad it was by using the term "explosive."

Well, current New York Yankee and overall pass around pitcher Chan Ho Park had a difficult outing the other day. Asked by reporters what happened, he sheepishly states his inner demons.




Hey man, we've all been there. No one ever admits it, but agrees, it's touch to pitch when you have a case of the runs. Best part to me is the reaction by Mariano Rivera in the background, who can't stop laughing while getting dressed.

Your daily Charles Barkley Update

So I've been behind today. I overslept my alarm like usual because I stayed up to watch the Thunder nearly upset the Lakers, so I'm catching up on real work.

So during halftime, Charles was asked a particular question.



He staggers before calling everyone an asshole. Pretty funny. You have to love Charles Barkley for his brutal, straight forward honesty. Like why he was ran through a stop sign:

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job. He then explained that she had given him a 'blow job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."



I hope he runs for governor of Alabama. He' s honest and I mean, could there be worse? (See Schwarzenegger, Arnold, Ventura, Jesse, and Blagoveich, Rod to mention a few)

Redskins Schedule

Before the 7:00 release! A Dro report exclusive! Skins home games in bold.

Week 1: Dallas Sunday night
Week 2: Houston
Week 3: At St. Louis
Week 4: At. Philadelphia (McNabb's return)
Week 5: Green Bay
Week 6: Indianapolis Sunday Night
Week 7: At Chicago
Week 8: At Detroit
Week 9: Bye Week
Week 10: Philadelphia Monday Night
Week 11: At Tennessee
Week 12: Minnesota
Week 13: At New York Giants
Week 14: Tampa Bay
Week 15: At Dallas
Week 16: At Jacksonville
Week 17: New York Giants


Some quick thoughts. Yikes. 3 games on national tv, with Mcnabb current team hosting his old team. Some tough home games with Houston (offense), Indy with Peyton on Sunday night (yikes), and Minnsota (with Favre?).

The optimist in me says 8-8 but obviously, it's going to be 14-2

Cleveland Sucks

I'm not a fan of Cleveland. Sure I haven't visited, but with their sports fans come annoyance. No one cares about The Ohio State getting killed in big college football games and no one will care about the Cavs once LeBron leaves for the Knicks. (or to the Wizards according to Miss Cleo). That said, the city itself never seemed appealing. Last night Joakim Noah shared the same opinion. Wait what? He said "Cleveland sucks."

Hmm this sounds awfully familiar to a comment I heard about 3 years ago now. Something like:

To tell the truth, I'm not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying.

Oh right, that was Ichiro talking about Cleveland.


I know it's Lebron's hometown, but does he really want to stay? Really? Really? Really Lebron? The guy who loves New York and wants to be the first billionaire athlete. Enjoy it while it lasts, Clevelanders.

Top 10 of Big Ben

Over the past week, we've come to find out that Big Ben is kind of a scumbag. After reading all of the official documents from the smoking gun and a few posts from deadspin, it's safe to say he's pretty much an asshole. Here are my 10 favorite Benisms.

1) "No, this is not OK, and he then had sex with me. He said it was OK. He then left without saying anything." - That's rape brother. Obviously it's a classic case of he said she said (see Bryant, Kobe), which means no charges or criminal trial will happen. Civil suit? My guess is abso-freaking-lutely.

2) The ole penis in hand trick

3) Little Ben is gray

4) "I'm not down to fuck, but I like to fuck girls," says Ben after seeing a girl wearing a DTF name tag. That doesn't even make sense.

5) Ben holds his bitches down. "All my bitches, take some shots."

6) Fellow teammate and O-lineman Willie Colon was tired of his "sausage parties"

7) "Ben's an NFL quarterback, he won't do anything to ruin his reputation." - bodyguard...um, too late!

8) This shirt. Might as well be Affliction/Ed Hardy


9) He drinks like a champion




10) And finally this picture. A perfect match.





[via smoking gun and deadspin link 1 and 2]

UPDATE: Big Ben and his gray penis suspended six games.

NBA Playoffs Mean More Charles Barkley

Spring time is here and sportswise, it's pretty much the best time of year. Baseball starts (then you can careless until September), March Madness, the NFL Draft and the NHL and NBA playoffs start. One thing I love about the NBA playoffs is the NBA on TNT with the best studio crew in all sports, the TNT crew with Ernie, Kenny and Sir Charles. They seem like they genuinely like each other and pretty much bust Charles' balls with jokes and photoshops. Last night, they gave Charles a shakeweight to work with. He looks confused what the hell this thing does.




Bonus clip here of the TNT guys taking a page from Ron Burgandy's leather bound books:

Ke$ha Vs. Fake Problems

One is Ke$ha, the other is Fake Problems. I wonder which one came first and can you tell the difference?





[story thanks to warming glow]

Coachella

I had a few friends make me jealous this year by going to Coachella. The lineup looked sweet and I have seen a few clips on the web. I particularly heard Jay-Z was sick and his collabo on Young Forever with his wife, Beyonce was pretty nice. See it for yourself.

DeShawn's Abe Tattoo

I miss the days when the wizards were good.

RIP GURU

Guru from Gangstarr passed away last night from a secret battle with cancer. He was only 43 years old. Guru had a stroke a few weeks ago and was in a coma but was looking stable. According to Yo! Raps, Guru penned a letter to his fans, explaining his illness to fans.

I, Guru, am writing this letter to my fans, friends and loved ones around the world. I have had a long battle with cancer and have succumbed to the disease. I have suffered with this illness for over a year. I have exhausted all medical options. I have a non-profit organization called Each One Counts dedicated to carrying on my charitable work on behalf of abused and disadvantaged children from around the world and also to educate and research a cure for this terrible disease that took my life. I write this with tears in my eyes, not of sorrow but of joy for what a wonderful life I have enjoyed and how many great people I have had the pleasure of meeting.

My loyal best friend, partner and brother, Solar, has been at my side through it all and has been made my health proxy by myself on all matters relating to myself. He has been with me by my side on my many hospital stays, operations, doctors visits and stayed with me at my home and cared for me when I could not care for myself. Solar and his family is my family and I love them dearly and I expect my family, friends, and fans to respect that, regardless to anybody's feelings on the matter. It is my wish that counts. This being said I am survived by the love of my life, my sun KC, who I trust will be looked after by Solar and his family as their own. Any awards or tributes should be accepted, organized approved by Solar on behalf myself and my son until he is of age to except on his own.

I do not wish my ex-DJ to have anything to do with my name likeness, events tributes etc. connected in anyway to my situation including any use of my name or circumstance for any reason and I have instructed my lawyers to enforce this. I had nothing to do with him in life for over 7 years and want nothing to do with him in death. Solar has my life story and is well informed on my family situation, as well as the real reason for separating from my ex-DJ. As the sole founder of GangStarr, I am very proud of what GangStarr has meant to the music world and fans. I equally am proud of my Jazzmatazz series and as the father of Hip-Hop/Jazz. I am most proud of my leadership and pioneering efforts on Jazzmatazz 4 for reinvigorating the Hip-Hop/Jazz genre in a time when music quality has reached an all time low. Solar and I have toured in places that I have never been before with GangStarr or Jazzmatatazz and we gained a reputation for being the best on the planet at Hip-Hop/Jazz, as well as the biggest and most influential Hip-Hop/Jazz record with Jazzmatazz 4 of the decade to now. The work I have done with Solar represents a legacy far beyond its time. And we as a team were not afraid to push the envelope. To me this is what true artists do! As men of honor we stood tall in the face of small mindedness, greed, and ignorance. As we fought for music and integrity at the cost of not earning millions and for this I will always be happy and proud, and would like to thank the million fans who have seen us perform over the years from all over the world. The work I have done with Solar represents a legacy far beyond its time and is my most creative and experimental to date. I hope that our music will receive the attention it deserves as it is some of the best work I have done and represents some of the best years of my life.

Today is a sad day for hip hop fans, may he rest in peace.

UPDATE: There's been rumors that this letter may not have been written by him, which I kind of believe. How could he just separate himself from DJ Premiere entirely? A few DJ's don't believe it.

djjazzyjeff215: RT @djscratch: Guru didn't write that letter. He's been in a coma for over 2 months....word

Hockey Handy (SFW)

Hockey Handy! Love the reaction from the girl at the end.

[link via deadspin]

Next Food Challenge?!

There's been talk about the next food challenge. At least three people I know say they can beat Mauers time of 13:50. Others have offered challenges in different foods. What should be the next eating challenge? Put in your votes or suggestions in the comments below.

Hot Dog



McGangBang



Double down again?



Or maybe the Double Double Double-Down Challenge!

Ovie and Backstrom Shooting Hoops

One is the two time MVP and the other becoming a top five center of the league. The both of them just completed a major comeback in Game 2 against Montreal with Ovie scoring 1 goal and 3 assists while Backstrom scored his first career hat trick and game winning OT goal. What do you do next to celebrate?

A) Party at regular DC hotspots like Russia House, Camelot, K Street

B) Eat a nice dinner and rest at home with friends?

C) Play some hoops on the Wizards practice court.

If you said C, you are correct. Here is Ovie and Backstrom shooting some hoops while waiting for their press conference. I guess they don't play much basketball in Sweden or Russia.

The Double Down Challenge!!!!

Yesterday was a lazy Sunday afternoon. After the usual Saturday night of drinking, typically what happens is a lazy sunday with pho for lunch (THE hangover cure) and followed by overall laziness on the couch with some tv watching. When word came out that KFC was going to have the double down in all it's glory on the new menu, Mauer thought he could tackle 3 double downs in 3 minutes. Now Mauer usually has big talk moments (BTMs) all the time, but looked confident he could do 3 double downs in 3 mins. Now this is the man that has done 2 Chipotle Burritos in 5 min and the first one was down with ease in a little over a minute. Willie on the other hand, heard about this challenge and was ready to compete. Willie dominated 3 baconators in one sitting and was ready for Mauer. With all this talk in the house nicknamed "the Castro", Tim challenged Web to first one to eat 3 wins $500. The ante had been upped! But Web denied the bet, but out of pride, all 4 were ready to compete! Challenge time, 9:00 PM EST.

The competitors:

Mauer aka big softy: Known for eating absurbs amount of food from DC to WVU to Arizona, he is a man, in the right time and place, can dominate any food you put in front of him. I've seen him eat 2 chipotle burritos in 1 sitting and in Arizona, he ate 2.5 huge late night burritos from a 24 hour burrito spot called Los Betos. ASU kids were all extremely impressed.

C-Web: Not necessarily the biggest eater of the group, but he was there, got caught up in the hype and was down. Said he felt "good" before the challenge.

Tim: Smaller in stature, big appetite. Him and Mauer had a hot dog contest senior year in high school and was beating him! Until he threw up and DQ'd.

Willie B: Man came into challenge with 3 baconators in one sitting after a long day of drinking at a concert. For the double down, he was ready to eat, he had been drinking since 2 o'clock that day. Do not underestimate the man.

The double down: Here are the facts.

Sandwich	Calories	Fat (g)	Sodium (mg)
KFC Original Recipe® Double Down	540	32	1380

Now if you multiply that times 3, you get 1620 Calories, 69 Grams of Fat, 4290 mg of Sodium. I'm no health nut, but that sounds atrocious.

Total Cost:














Here is the 2 part video which is about 13 minutes long of what ensued.






Your winner, Mauer with the time of 13:50, followed by Willie a second later. C-Web got through 1.75 and Tim puked, but then finished the race cool runnings style.

Some extra facts: We ordered 15 but they only had 12 left. Everyone was comatose right after the challenge. Web pulled the trigger right after before he went to bed.

Quick Introduction

Hello peoples. I have been told I send way too many links during my "real" job so I've decided to have them here. I work a nine to fiver and have a bunch of downtime, so I like to surf the web. In here you will find random things about the group of idiots I hang out with, links about sports, pop culture and overall randomness that you may enjoy during work or on your free time.


I'll try to have 3-5 posts a day and you'll start to get an idea of what I look at daily and at my leisure.